Okay, so I'm dwelling on it.
It is so nice to watch G as she changes and grows every day...every day we swear she is bigger...and see O off to school, playing tennis, doing his thing with his pals. I am going to miss being at home.
I explained to O that I was going to have to go to work again next week. "Why?" was his pleading, whining tone (kind of like mine in my head, as I write this, admittedly).
"Well, the same reason I've always had to work, honey. I have to work to help pay for our house and things we like to do together, and it's just part of life. Things haven't changed from before, except now you'll have G to stay home with you and J. I'll still bring you to school twice a week, just like always."
"Okay. Will Daddy stay home?"
"No, Daddy has to work too."
He seems to take it well. He is used to the situation, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal; I suppose we have all gotten used to me being around the last handful of months, though. He likes when I come to watch him play and I can eat lunch with him or help him get dressed in the morning, or something silly like when he makes me a strawberry-orange pie with his Play-Doh. Me too.
And then I explain it to G on her changing table this morning, which is much easier since she doesn't speak yet. She just smiles at me with a coo and a giggle and somehow I feel like it's ok because she's female and she understands already. "It's okay Mama, I know it's hard." I know that makes no sense, but I just wonder if she is going to be an old soul like O is.
I'm starting to reach out to work, ask them to include me on things so I am not clueless upon my return. How does my boss want me to enter back into projects, do I have anything new on my plate...are all my responsibilities the same? I am curious to find out, honestly. Hopefully we'll speak this afternoon, but the day is going fast. Time is a-ticking, as I can constantly hear in my head.
On the home side, I want to be really organized, too--which is difficult as we still try to string together the bits of our living space post-renovation. I think that will help me do everything I need to do every day...things I want to make sure I do, like picking out clothes for both of them, taking care of anything necessary for his school, making breakfast, making dinner. I like to cook; so does C. We take out maybe once a week, and once G gets a little bigger, I am sure we will start going out to eat again. We are attempting a brunch this weekend (with friends and their family). Wish us luck.
I would have to work even if we didn't do the renovation. This makes it a bit less flexible since it will increase our monthly payments quite a bit, but if I'm in that situation regardless, I am glad we at least are going to be happy with what we are paying for.
Happy Friday, all--I am certain they will become infinitely more important again, starting next week.