I had a really hard time titling this one.
There's really no way to fully appreciate the insanity that presents itself in everyday interactions with one's children, particularly something that illustrates the amazing change that happens in one's perceptions as they move from childhood to adulthood.
C and I have a running joke that G, our 9-month-old daughter, has a bigger rear end than our 4-year-old son, O. It should be noted O is a little smaller than "average" for his age and requires pants with an adjustable waist, and G is a bit on the heftier side of "average".
Last night, we actually sat them next to each other on the couch, and were like, yup, G's tush is bigger. (She is going to kill me when she is older for this.) She's a baby! She has baby fat. It's the cutest thing, really.
Then it happened. O had a meltdown.
"NOOOOOooooooooo! My tush is bigger than HERS!!! She does not! Nooooooo...!!!!" (crying ensues). Oh God, what did we do.
G, meanwhile, looks at him, and us, in complete bewilderment.
"No, buddy, no, no...it's not a bad thing...why are you getting upset? Don't get upset...she's just a baby, and babies are chubby...."
"NOOOOOOO!!! I don't want her to have a bigger tush than me! (Crying, sobbing, insanity) Nooo!!!" We hug him. Tell him it's ok. Try to explain, and he is not having it.
So, here is my son, yelling at me that he wants a bigger rear. Seriously.
To finally get through to him, C and I point out what is pretty evident to anyone else. My rear is bigger than my husband's. It's a "girl thing", that we're shaped differently, we say. (I know...it doesn't really apply to a 9-month old, but work with us.)
You can't get tickets to anything better.