My Hair is Falling Out

Not a euphemism for stress...though I suppose it could be.

I've hit that point post-baby where I have decided to nurse G less due to work (and life). We are down to two times a day, about 12 hours apart. She seems perfectly fine with it and honestly, I am still surprised I did as well as I did with it this time around.

So when the nursing stops, things begin to revert back to normal.
This means I kind of go back to a normal bra size (God only knows what it will be this time), and my hair falls out. My shower is clogged. Yuck.

I don't have the best hair to begin with. When I am pregnant it's a bonus, as my hair always seems thicker and healthier than when I am not. (Don't get any ideas, grandparents...you're only getting two out of us.)

Thank goodness for ponytail season, I suppose.

Last time, my feet grew. I swear. Ask my mother-in-law's family...I think I gave away about 15-20 pairs of shoes. So sad. Really....this was a travesty for me.

Wish me luck on the transformation! In the meantime, I will still be stuffing myself into whatever fits.

Renovation: What is going on now?

Well, it's been pretty rainy so that slowed down the momentum on the siding a bit. Understandable. With that said, though, the guys are here, working outside in full rain gear.

There's another one here too, I think working on our basement stairwell, which I'll confirm in about 10 minutes. What needs to be done in the basement stairwell, you ask? Well, the sheetrock subs didn't finish it. Now, we don't have a finished basement or anything (give us another six years on that...we need a little recuperation time), but we were told it was part of the estimate. We gave our contractors a final check for the sheetrockers and asked them to make sure everything was done prior to giving it to them, and, well...I don't know what happened, but our basement stairwell was missing a piece of wall and never taped/finished/sanded, we had a wall in our foyer that wasn't taped, and we had a few areas that were never addressed and should have been (holes etc).

So now they are doing the stairwell, gratis. Thank God they took responsibility for something.

You have to appreciate the fact that I'm breastfeeding and I've got people knocking on my door, allowing themselves in. Kind of mandatory to keep a blanket handy for coverage when necessary.

Anyhow...what else. We've ordered our bar top for the kitchen island. Gosh, I can't wait to get this finished. We're going to use cherry butcher block, 1 1/2" thick. Big fan of Lumber Liquidators, if you are renovating...check them out. Good prices. Also ifloor.com...we got our cork floors from them.

Rain stopped, siding work is back on again. I wonder how far they'll get today. I have to say I just love the fact that all of our neighbors have complemented us on it. No one else's house around here has anything like it, so it's going to stick out a little bit. But now with everyone's feedback, I am doubly happy we made the decision we did. It looks kind of New England-y. (Pictures coming, I swear.)

I've put some thought against the backsplash...rather than going red, I think we're leaning toward a lighter color now. Maybe cream colored subway tiles, done in a herringbone pattern. But with a red grout. Would that look weird? I want to get red into it but I do want it to brighten up the dark woods a bit. I'll try to post a pic of the kitchen so I can get some feedback. (I'll take a pic once it's a little neater than it is right now.)

Returning to Work, Part II: The Mental Game

Okay. So I am 99% sure I'll be heading back next Wednesday from maternity leave--11 weeks. Good grief, that is basically a week. I haven't started weaning G yet from nursing...but I think that's okay. I told work I'll probably be shortening the top/tail of the day upon my return, and I was going to keep my Thursday & Friday afternoons at home; they were fine with that.

Ughhh. I dread this. I mean, I know what to expect in a way since I've been through it before...which means I'll live, we'll all live...but now with two kids it is just going to kill me for the first couple weeks. It is what it is.

I've figured out my leave, using my vacation/personal days/sick days. So I think, retroactively applying those days across my leave, I'll wind up with only 2 1/2 weeks where I wasn't fully paid. That's not bad, really, when it comes down to it. And that is because I am also keeping a week of vacation stashed aside for Aruba in November. Which I will desperately need by then, I am sure.

Now to get on my soapbox, since I have to get it out somehow....
What is wrong with the US? Really. We are the most advanced country in the world, and we treat our people like crap when it comes to having babies. Every candidate, every politician talks about the importance of family and creating a strong foundation. What a load of crap. There are a few things that just don't fly with me:

• Only two nights in the hospital. Yes, I did it both times...regular delivery, and I've survived. A woman's milk doesn't even come in by then but you are encouraged to breastfeed, only you don't know what the heck you're doing, and it creates a serious amount of stress. Healing is less of an issue that the breastfeeding, here, for me.

• FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act), provisions. This is the government basically saying that you can take 12 weeks off for having a baby and come back to your job. But as for figuring out how you can sustain your income during that period, well, you're on your own, sister, unless you happen to work for a super-generous company. While I'm at it, let me give a big ol' shout-out to NY state for the crappy compensation that accompanies the "disability" for this period (see my "Part I" post).

• FMLA, duration. 12 weeks is nothing. I know most people who may read this are educated enough to know that Europe in particular allows a much longer period to bond with your newborn child.
  

• FMLA, application. I actually had to add this...C reminded me that small companies aren't even held to honor this. Which, having owned a small business myself for a year and a half, I understand why. But...it does leave a lot of people hanging out there.
  

I'm griping, admittedly--hey, this is part of the purpose of this blog thing anyhow, no? I know very well what I signed up for. I need to work. C and I have made decisions as to where we want to live, what we want our house to be for our family, how we want to raise our children, what preschools (and public schools...hello taxes) to send them to. We want to give them the best we can, and in our case, this is what it takes. At least right now.

I know...if I don't like it, move to Canada (well, we'll see how the election goes in November). If we didn't just rebuild our house, I may ask C to consider it.

Oh, that reminds me of a hilarious blog...Stuff White People Like. See, there's the threatening to move to Canada thing on here. I am not unique, clearly.

Part III to come next week, unless we have some interesting developments. Like a Powerball win or something. In the meantime, I'm trying not to dwell on it too much.

Breastfeeding, round 2.

I am breastfeeding baby G, and remarkably, she is growing well and eating plenty.

I say remarkably because I had such difficulties breastfeeding my son, O. I must own every apparatus ever created for breastfeeding aid, and I took herbs to produce more. He just couldn't get it from me. I pumped constantly for three months, which was torture.

My first experience was so challenging I felt compelled to respond to an article in the NY Times that featured a review of a government-produced ad to encourage breastfeeding (which I didn't agree with), and a discussion of breastfeeding's benefits (which I certainly agree with). I'm the second letter published: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/20/science/20webletters.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print&oref=slogin

What's crazy is that last year, 2007, a producer from CNN's American Morning called me at home to see if I was interested in coming on the show to discuss the fact they were no longer providing formula samples to new mothers in NYC public hospitals to encourage breastfeeding--they found the letter in their research, I guess. I declined. I didn't want to be on TV as a counterpoint to the head of the public hospital system, or come off as anti-breastfeeding. (and let's be honest, it was at 5am, I was in my first trimester with G, and they're a cable station...no compensation for the appearance!)

This time is different...it goes to prove that all children are unique. G eats very well. I was worried at the get-go because we were seeing dehydrated diapers at the hospital. So we supplemented a bit at the beginning...but by the time she was a week and a half old, I didn't have to anymore. Kind of seemed like a miracle.

I know so many people with breastfeeding issues. I have a few theories on what happened to me:

• Some women get their milk in later than others. Maybe this somehow has to do with the fact that a lot of women are having children later.
  
• There is so much pressure to breastfeed--well--that women have a lot of anxiety about doing it right. This, of course, just makes the situation worse because the stress often inhibits the milk let-down.
• There is a very poor support system for new moms with regard to breastfeeding in the US. We are only in the hospital two nights, and while most intentions are good, nurses and hospital lactation consultants often offer conflicting advice about breastfeeding. I had this happen to me not only during one stay, but at the same hospital for both children. And then the advice from my lactation was different, too. Not to mention a good portion of us were brought up on a bottle, so our own mothers can't help either.
  

Thank God for an awesome pediatrician and a local lactation consultant. And a good baby.